How far can you stretch your memory?
like this one:
It was almost lunch, overcast, drizzling actually. I was crying, my grandma sat in her chair and made a “hammock” of her dress between her legs. She sat me there, and she lovingly ran her fingers through my hair while I was sobbing. She said ” it’s okay now, stop crying just don’t do it anymore.” I know my mom got upset with me but I couldn’t recall why or if she spanked me or what, but I still remember that particular segment. I was 4.
Now, shift gear and think of the worst moment of your life as a kid.
when the bullying started. Grown up boys bullied me just because I was careless and accidentally did a “Marilyn Monroe”, and my underwear was exposed. Agonizing years, I was so afraid to go out of the house and face my tormentors. I was 11. (Believe it or not, my tormentors are old now and up until the time I moved, whenever they saw me they’d still tease me and call me the “name” they gave me.)
How about when you got really angry and you did something stupid?
I was so upset with my mom so I wrote a “stowaway” letter. I kinda forgot where I put the letter and I forgot that I was upset, but couple of days later my mom called me and read the letter in front of me.She found it before I could make the great escape! LOL. She asked me where I was going and where I was going to stay or who will feed me. You know that kind of child psychology? I remember, my dad was seating reading the papers oblivious and my mom was actually laughing. She didn’t take me seriously, wasn’t that heart breaking? Ha ha ha! I was 9.
So what’s the point of the exercise?
The point is, we are all capable of unearthing old memories-good or bad, depending on the triggers. Some were so memorable, we could almost still smell, taste or feel how it was on the day it happened. Some were so painful it’s almost like waking up a sleeping monster in us. a stab in the heart, a knot in the gut. Does that sound familiar?
This was a crucial moment for Joseph. He surely recognized his brothers and he had the upper hand. He was in the position of power and could easily turn them away, kill them or do anything to retaliate for what was done to him.
But he chose to forgive them, and share what he had.
his love for his brothers ruled his heart.
How many of us can do a Joseph? Maybe some, or maybe a lot. Surely some cannot and won’t. The hurt is so bad sometimes that it could harden the heart, and this is the part where we are capable of “re-runs”. We keep records of who hurt us, or what they did to us as a leverage to get ahead and retaliate. Pay back time!
We argue and fight with someone and we bring back something that happened years ago!
“Remember when you broke that crystal vase?”
” But mom, I broke that when I was 7 years old I’m already 47 years old!”
“I can’t forget how you cheated on me.”
“But you hacked into my account and saw one email from an ex-girlfriend, I didn’t cheat on you!”
Uh huh, can we all relate..?
We harbor and nurture the pain, feeding it with anger, and water it with the desire to get even at the opportune time. We can’t forget and we can’t forgive.
But love is willing to forgive and forget. Tall order, I know. I wanted so much to tie my tormentors to a tree and feed them to the ants -it was a fantasy when I was a child, (sorry) but the love that we have as believers is the kind of love that Jesus has. His love for us is amazing and so unconditional, that He forgives us over and over and He is willing to CTRL-ALT-DEL our offenses.
So next time you are tempted to resurrect a dead offense, think of Jesus doing a CTRL-ALT-DEL. 😀