The story of Cain and Abel is the perfect example of what love is not. The envy was so great that it eventually led to hatred and murder.
As you all know, Cain and Abel grew up with different skills. Cain a farmer and Abel a shepherd. When it was time for them to offer to God, Cain’s was rejected and Abel’s was accepted. Naturally, Cain got very upset but God asked him, ‘why is your face downcast? if you do what is right, will you not be accepted? (We can safely assume here that they were taught what was right when it comes to offering). Cain got so mad and consumed that his anger was directed toward Abel.
He envied Abel for being the favored one but this was misplaced for the simple reason that Cain didn’t do what was required of him to do, let alone the right thing to do.
Sibling rivalry goes way back obviously. One sibling is not tall enough, not pretty enough, not funny enough or smart enough. One is more favored than the other and for whatever reason, sibling rivalry can be nasty.
My sister and I grew up together and although she’s 2 years older, we were raised as if we were twins. Same clothes, same toys, same shoes. But we differed in so many ways. She was quiet and obedient, I was um a performing artist! ha ha!
We went to the same grade school, and we had the same teachers, you know how that is. She was unanimously selected as the role model so much that every time there was a mischief (by me) , they were always ready to point out and say: ‘why can’t you be just like your sister?” Don’t get me wrong we had fun time together. We used to sing while reading from a lyric sheet-she was Carpenter, I was Beatles! Hah! We used to bathe in the rain together, used the tin roof and the gutter as our shower.
But when we were in high school the differences were way too obvious that I started getting jealous of her. Popular with boys, tall, flawless, lady-like and all that jazz. I was loud, restless, playful. Needless to say, she was my mom’s favorite too.
I didn’t do a Cain, but the gap started growing especially when we entered College. She was chosen to do more lady-like stuff, and I was just the awkward, ugly duckling who would sometimes be mistaken for a guy lol. That bad, yeah!
But years passed, and we experienced real life crap, and we grew with the Lord and one event in my life that was so low and she spoke well of me (to a friend) saying that she actually admired me for being me-larger than life, street smart, the-devil-may-care attitude. I didn’t know that. All my teenage life, I resented being compared to her, but little did I know that as unique as she was, that she felt the same way about me. It didn’t seem that way, but that’s how it was. The rivalry ended because God came into the picture.
Our love for each other grew because the Lord drew us closer together not only through the good times, but for the most part-bad times in our lives. The Lord showed us that even though we are different, we are very much the same and instead of envy, love grew and we just learned how to support one another through prayers and otherwise. We live apart now, but we are only separated by distance. We still manage to communicate and ask each other for prayer support.
There is too much dysfunction in the family nowadays, and it is my prayer that whoever you are estranged sister or brother, that you will find God and be one with your sibling.
Go ahead, pick up that phone and make the move, it’s not that difficult.