Get Mad, Just Don’t Get Even

 I don’t get mad, I get even.

Anger is one letter short of danger.  ~Author Unknown

Get mad, then get over it.  ~Colin Powell

Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.  ~Author Unknown

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.  ~Ambrose Bierce

Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.  ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

A complex response

Anger is a normal emotion with a wide range of intensity, from mild irritation and frustration to rage. It is a reaction to a perceived threat to ourselves, our loved ones, our property, our self-image, or some part of our identity. Anger is a warning bell that tells us that something is wrong.

Anger has three components:

• Physical reactions, usually starting with a rush of adrenaline and responses such as an increased heart rate, blood pressure, and tightening muscles; often known as the “fight or flight” response
• The cognitive experience of anger, or how we perceive and think about what is making us angry. For example, we might think something that happened to us is wrong, unfair, and undeserved.
• Behavior, or the way we express our anger. There is a wide range of behavior that signals anger. We may look and sound angry, turn red, raise our voices, clam up, slam doors, storm away, or otherwise signal to others that we are angry. We may also state that we are angry and why, ask for a time-out, request an apology, or ask for something to change.

• Everyone experiences anger, and it can be healthy. It can motivate us to stand up for ourselves and correct injustices. When we manage anger well, it prompts us to make positive changes in our lives and situations.

  

  Anger is defined as as strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility.

Mismanaged anger, on the other hand, is counterproductive and can be unhealthy. When anger is too intense, out of control, misdirected, and overly aggressive, it can lead to poor decision making and problem solving, create problems with relationships and at work, and can even affect your health.

Sources: Anger Research Consortium; American Psychological Association

***************

⁴ Be angry, and do not sin;
ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.

-Psalms 4:4

One common misconception about anger is that it is bad and it is bad to feel angry.  When we see kids get angry, we don’t really encourage them to express their anger but rather, we try to curtail it implying that it is bad in itself.

We say “please don’t be angry” as a precursor to a bad or unpleasant news. We try to control the anger by pleading them not to be angry because we don’t like an angry person and we are afraid of what anger might do to that person or even to ourselves.

What most people don’t understand is that, anger is not a sin. An angry person could be scary, especially when aggression is increased. It’s the product of anger that makes the situation  unpleasant and to some extent dangerous.

The bible even encourages us to be angry. It is not a sin. It’s a normal emotion that we experience when we are confronted with situation or circumstance otherwise pleasant and acceptable.

So be  angry go ahead, but do not sin. 

People cope up with anger differently. Some scream, some become violent, some do stupid things, some do destructive activities. Some shop (just don’t max out your credit card and spend beyond your means). Some keep quiet and gives everyone the cold shoulder.

When angry,and because it’s emotion could sometimes cloud our judgment and make us decide foolishly. There is no peace and joy, and something in our gut is eating us up.

 Peter got angry and cut the servant’s  ear. Moses got angry and struck an Egyptian. You got angry someone cut you on the road and started a road rage. You got angry at the customer service on the phone giving you the run around and you started calling him names. You got angry at your spouse and you started digging up old faults poking a stick into an old wound.

Go ahead be angry but in your anger ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.

1. Go to your room, be silent and calm down
2. Pray to God and ask for self-control and surrender your anger
3. Be silent and ponder why you got angry, focus on the issue not on the person
4. Don’t prolong your anger. God gets angry too but His’ lasts only a moment.

If someone is angry at you, don’t provoke that person some more by bugging him/her to talk right away.

1. Give them time to recover and to calm down.
2. Don’t fight tit-for tat.  If you must reason out,answer and explain gently.
3. Acknowledge the anger and try to be understanding. (Don’t say “you are over reacting, drama queen, etc)
4. Apologize and hug. Don’t let pride get in the way.

Simple but sometimes difficult to do, but practice makes perfect.

*All pictures taken off google.